JERRY: No eight years isn't such a long streak.ELAINE: It isn't?
JERRY: No I haven't vomited in thirteen years.
ELAINE: Get out!
JERRY: Not since June 29, 1980.
ELAINE: You remember the date?
JERRY: Yes, because my previous vomit was also June 29th... 1972. That's why during the '80 vomit, I was yelling to George: "Can you believe it? I'm vomiting on June 29th again."
ELAINE: Boy, you know when Joel told me he hadn't thrown up in eight years, I was wondering if he was normal.
JERRY: Your boyfriend is a normal guy.
So this last weekend I was pretty sick. Seth started it, and then Lindsay and I both got sick. Saturday night I was feeling pretty bad--I tossed and turned until about 3 in the morning, at which point I got out of bed, calmly walked to the toilet, and then emptied, nay, purged about 2 liters of fluid and chunks of broccoli (which I was forced to eat by the way) into the porcelain bowl. Having recently studied several pharmacological inducers and suppressors of vomiting, as I was feeling every inch of my body protest the acidic propulsion of my gastric contents, I couldn't help but think of the small bunch of cells in my brainstem (referred to as the chemoreceptor trigger zone, or CTZ for short) that was so violently causing this horrible contraction of muscles and bowel. But I digress...my point is that this was the first vomit since I threw up in the dorm bathrooms at Bowles Hall my freshman year at Berkeley after eating some sketchy food in the dining commons...that is, 1999. (Note: this is excluding two exercise-induced pukings of mostly water, which were not nearly as bad an experience--I don't think they count). Anyway, we're all feeling better now, but my 9-year streak of preserving my GI tract as a one-way street has come to an end. It's the beginning of a new era.
3 comments:
There are few things worse than puking your guts out. It's painfully uncomfortable and loud, you have to spend too much time close to a toilet, and if you have long hair it gets really messy (thank goodness you have kept yours short). I'd like to say that you're a great guy and I hate to think of you feeling that sick. I hope you are fully recovered and that you have started a new streak that will last 10 years...at least. I'm glad your sense of humor didn't get lost in the toilet with all that broccoli...I loved your "popular TV show" reference.
who forced you to eat broccoli?
Dude, my streak recently ended, too. I can't even remember the last time I threw up before that. Like you my son got me and my wife sick with a stomach something. It was miserable. I tried to go to work, but I just had no energy. I ultimately gave it to my boss, and my dad and my sister. Opps.....
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